I think we are all in denial about something. I wonder at the things which I may be in denial about. We all like to believe that we are special, that we have some specific purpose, that we have some attribute that others do not posess. We long to feel that we have a meaning and that our lives have some ultimate goal.
I'm beginning to accept the fact that this may not be true. Perhaps I've watched too many movies, played too many video games and listened to one too many stories, but I've always thought my life would turn out to be some amazing adventure. I'm 25 now, closer to 26 than I was yesterday, and now I'm closer to being 30 than I am to being 20. My life is still as boring as it was yesterday. Nothing amazing will happen to me tomorrow, not to say that I don't enjoy what things do happen, but I won't be encountering any alien robots, or help thwart some plot to destroy mankind as we know it. I'm just a plain human like you.
I'm sure everyone goes through a point in life where they face their mortality and the mundane nature of their existence. I've faced my mortality a few times, once when I was almost too young to remember, once when I was a bit older in a river, and again later one when I was hit by a truck. Until now though, I've never really considered the fact that I might just be another peasant, another mortal.
If I were to die tomorrow, what would I be remembered for? Being a son, a friend, being charming, riding a cool bicycle, and leaving a bunch of stuff for my friends to plunder. There wouldn't be anything for bards to sing of, no great deeds to pass on through the ages. I don't even have any children to carry on my absent legacy. No one even reads my blog.
I'm not bitter about this, I'm simply stating facts. I don't know what it is that I will end up doing, but until now I've been in denial of the fact that I will die a feeble death some day, and the number of people that mourn my loss wouldn't fill a single theater auditorium.
Maybe you're just setting your expectations too high for yourself.
ReplyDeleteEveryday can be it's own adventure and you can leave your mark on people instead of humanity. Change starts slowly and small. But with every person you change they change their life and the lives of the people around them which in effect starts a greater change.
You may not be remembered by the whole for such acts but the knowledge that you carry with yourself that you helped someone will hopefully be enough to comfort you in your darkest hours and your last moments.
~ Roxyanne