Black Friday

I finally had enough of the suspense and I looked at the Skyrim video game case. It felt good, now I don't have that sensation hanging over me. Feels good man.

Now that that's out of the way I want to talk about Thanks Giving Day. Some people say Thanksgiving. Like it is one word, that has its own meaning, but I insist on people trying to remember that it is a day for giving thanks. Not a Thanksgiving day, whatever that is. I dislike the fact that so many people relate the holiday with food and not showing gratitude to the people who in their lives make all the difference in the world.

It isn't my sense of humour which makes my life good, it helps, but it is the colourful cast of characters by which I am surrounded. They help me tolerate the day to day life that would otherwise be bland, mundane, and likely unbearable. It isn't even about the nice things they do for me, or anything that they do for me. I am grateful that people are even around me. I'm grateful that people care about me and think about me. I'd like to think other people are grateful for me as well.

For instance, Jonboy is one of my best friends. There may be days when he never crosses my mind, (few and far between if at all), but then I may hear a song which reminds me of him. One such song is "Dude" by Tenacious D. I'd call him up, and sing the chorus of the song to him in a very annoying voice mail. Those small things are the things that I'm thankful for. I'm not thankful for mindless consumerism, which has been indoctrinated into our culture. Black friday is not a real holiday. It is the day after a real holiday, which few seem to remember how to celebrate.

There are exceptions to every rule, and I'm sure there are many people who know how to be grateful, and remember to show their gratitude, but it seems they're few and far between. Think of the origins of Thanks giving day. We robbed the land of the natives, and in return they taught us how to survive, and they fed us. They didn't just feed us, they gave us something valuable.

I've run out of steam on this subject. I have no more to say than be grateful, be thankful.

Thanks.

Heart Pounding

I was standing in my room, gathering laundry into one pile, and garbage into another. Before I knew it, I found myself reaching for the place where I keep IT hidden. Skyrim. It taunts me, it haunts me. It keeps calling out to me. I'm fighting it, but I want to look. I'm putting up a struggle, but it's winning. In fact, it has already won, I'm just prolonging its victory, and my own damnation.

Commence vacation

With 16.5 k words to write left in my book, a ten page math assignment to complete, and several sections of my Principles of Fitness class to pour over, I enter my Thanksgiving break with barely any time to be thankful for. It sucks.

I still haven't looked at that thing stored in that box. It still haunts me. On more than one instance I have found myself sitting staring blankly at one thing or another thinking to myself, "I could just go look at it. It would be ok to take just a peak.", but no, it wouldn't. Because then I'd take another peak, and then once I've looked at it, what is the harm in opening it up and reading the manual, checking out the neat map they always insert? Where's the harm there?

The harm there, is that I'd get curious, and then I'd have to play it. Then I'd go to Jon's house and take over his TV and his playstation and he and I would both stop writing our books. I have resisted this future. I only have nine more days to go, but considering that I've only so far resisted this for 7 days, I'm not so fully optimistic that I will go the entire time without looking.

Maybe once I hit 45k words I'll sneak a peak. Or perhaps I'll deem it a dumb idea and just wait until I breach the big Fifty thousand.

Well either way, I'm going to enjoy today. Its my last day of class until next monday. I've got lots of work to do, lots of thinking to do, lots of reading to do, and lots of writing to do.

I'm sending out wishes and happiness for everyone. I hope your day of thanks is filled with warm smiles and fond memories. Don't let your inlaws get under your skin, and try to remember for one day, that we are all at least very similar and that we should all be thankful to have each other around. The world would be a very lonely and boring place without all of you in it.

Try the stuffing, its delicious.

The Thing in The Black Box

So among my friends it is widely known that I'm a big fan of a select few video game series. One of them is The Elder Scrolls. I've been a huge fan since Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind. Well this month they released a new one. Number 5. It takes place in the spine of the world. Skyrim.

I'm participating in Nanowrimo. I'm a college student. I've got home work, I've got no time for video games, and I barely care about video games anymore, but Skyrim looks amazing. I want to play it. I feel a strong desire to put that notch in my belt. I know I must resist. My girlfriend Amber decided to be a sweetheart and buy me a copy of this game. She knows how broke I am, and that I'd probably not get the chance for a long while. She is amazing, but at the same time she brought me the ultimate temptation. I did the only thing I could do. I took it from her, and hid it.

Now it's been a couple of days, and I can sense it. I look across the room and I can see the place in which it is hidden. It's like I can see its outline within the wood of the cabinet. I can feel it there. I want to look at it. Hold it in my hands, look at the cover, then open it up and check out the map. But I know that if I go that far, I'll take it to Jonboy's house and he and I will both quit writing our novels and instead we'll take turns playing it until he loses his job or I get kicked out of college for drawing pictures of mammoths everywhere.

So it sits. It stays. It remains hidden, and each moment of each day that passes I can feel it sitting right where it is. Even when I'm not here I know that it sits there. I can see it there. It haunts me. The ultimate temptation. Like a brick of heroin to a junkie. I'm doing my best to resist. I will not play it before december 1st. I'm sure its only a matter of time before I look at it. Give me strength.

Thank you November

I've been doing pretty well this year. Writing my novel is going very well. Tonight I hit a fictional dry spell and am writing in my blogs instead. I figure its probably a good idea right? I had an idea for another story today. I don't know when I will get around to writing it. Maybe next year, maybe earlier. I think it's kinda an original idea. I could be wrong. Who knows. My idea is one from a genre which I normally don't even register. Animals. A story with nothing but animal characters. I think it could be cool.

It presents a lot of opportunities for character explorations. In the story I'm currently writing there is a red tailed hawk that I've been writing about. It's pretty neat to do so. It's something I've never done before, but when I was a kid I did read the Animorphs, which I loved. Everyone I know who read those books loved them. I still have the majority of the series on my bookshelf.

So there is something that I learned from Stephen King that I'd like to share. It's about writing. It is about audience. It is about you. Yes you, my reader. Stephen King refers to you as the ideal reader. Are you my brother? My friend? My beloved? Who are you? It is really immaterial to be honest, but there you are. I have found you. I've been having a lot of success by writing for you dear reader. Even though at the point of me writing this I have no one who reads my writings. Not even my friends or girlfriend read this. But this is mostly for me anyway, I'm not really sad about the fact. If I wanted people to read this journal I would advertise it a bit more than I do. The point I was trying to make is that if you have trouble writing. You should find your own ideal reader. Also learning to kill the inner critic is a blessing. I have learned a lot about writing this month. Thank you Nanowrimo!

Thinking about the Future

I've been writing a lot lately. It feels good. I've been doing well in school, that feels good too. I guess what I'm getting at is that I feel good about doing well, and that makes me happy. I've never put much more thought into it than 'i need to get into college' but now that I'm in college Its safe to start thinking about where I go from here?

College is game which involves scoring high in knowlege tests. Perhaps performing aqquired skills as well. Then you gather different types of credits, and build a degree. I've always thought of it as some horrible institution designed to chew me up and spit me out. And in my defence public schools seemed to be just that. My whole life it felt like was unqualified, due to some setback. Perhaps they were legit, perhaps they were just some mind fuck I placed upon myself. Now however, I'm getting the feeling that it really is something I can succeed at. I recognise its structure, at least on some very basic level, and it's not very daunting anymore.

I've been thinking about what major I should pick... I'm rolling ideas around like English and Psychology, with as much art and literature and writing as I can cram into a specific degree. Maybe continuing independent education, I don't know. I don't want to look too far down the road. I'm near sighted in life, and so I shall remain, near sighted when it comes to the future. I think I can deal with that.