November 2012

     It is almost November and that means Nanowrimo. I have a few Ideas for stories to write, but I don't know exactly which one I'm going to start with; and with November less than 24 hours away that is a pressing issue for me. With that in mind I'm a bit anxious currently. I need to just decide what I'm going to write about, but the truth is I don't know where to begin. There are three possibilities, two of them tie in with one another I think; and the other is a totally different story altogether.
     I guess Disney bought Lucasfilm today. I hope they don't buy Lionsgate.

My imaginary friends

Over the years, I've made up more than a few fictional characters. Most of them have been inspired by other fictional characters, some of them are original - though even those ones are probably influenced by other works - they are all my imaginary friends. Not in the sense that I interact with them or that they have some effect on my life, but I think about their lives, and wonder what is going on with them. I wonder what has happened to them, and try to hammer out the details.
     Two Novembers ago I took part in Nanowrimo for the first time. The second time around I was much more successful. I created two new characters for that story, and since then they've been sitting around in my head. The final moments of that story burned into my inner eye. I've been wondering what happened next. What else happened in the time of the story that I wrote that I didn't write about. What parts did I miss? Who are these characters really? Who is Walter? Who is Blondie? What is next for them? Where are they going? What will they become? And again, who the hell are they?

     I got side tracked and lost my train of thought...

     There are other characters that I haven't written about anywhere too. I guess I'm worried that once I write about them I can't unwrite their story, but that's not entirely true. Hmmm...

Denial

     I think we are all in denial about something. I wonder at the things which I may be in denial about. We all like to believe that we are special, that we have some specific purpose, that we have some attribute that others do not posess. We long to feel that we have a meaning and that our lives have some ultimate goal.
     I'm beginning to accept the fact that this may not be true. Perhaps I've watched too many movies, played too many video games and listened to one too many stories, but I've always thought my life would turn out to be some amazing adventure. I'm 25 now, closer to 26 than I was yesterday, and now I'm closer to being 30 than I am to being 20. My life is still as boring as it was yesterday. Nothing amazing will happen to me tomorrow, not to say that I don't enjoy what things do happen, but I won't be encountering any alien robots, or help thwart some plot to destroy mankind as we know it. I'm just a plain human like you.
     I'm sure everyone goes through a point in life where they face their mortality and the mundane nature of their existence. I've faced my mortality a few times, once when I was almost too young to remember, once when I was a bit older in a river, and again later one when I was hit by a truck. Until now though, I've never really considered the fact that I might just be another peasant, another mortal.
     If I were to die tomorrow, what would I be remembered for? Being a son, a friend, being charming, riding a cool bicycle, and leaving a bunch of stuff for my friends to plunder. There wouldn't be anything for bards to sing of, no great deeds to pass on through the ages. I don't even have any children to carry on my absent legacy. No one even reads my blog.
     I'm not bitter about this, I'm simply stating facts. I don't know what it is that I will end up doing, but until now I've been in denial of the fact that I will die a feeble death some day, and the number of people that mourn my loss wouldn't fill a single theater auditorium.

My friend the beaver.

The other morning at work I met a beaver. It was four in the morning, and I was mowing the greens on the second hole at the golf course. I see him off in the distance. Like a log dragging itself along there was this huge beaver, walking toward the man-made pond on the other side of the grass. I have no doubt that he was going there simply to scoff at its shoddy human design.

I decided that it would be a good idea to steer over to him, and harass this strange creature with my bright shining headlights. To him I was surely a huge prick. He stopped dead in his tracks and gave me the "are you fucking kidding me?" stare. My good ideas seemed to be coming rapidly that morning, because then I decided to dismount my mower and get a closer look at this beast.

At this point I think it is a good idea to point out that a beaver is bigger than the pillow you sleep with at night, and has the attitude of a mean-ass rat. Imagine the rat that bit you at your friend's house, and you thought that thing was mean and stupid but you never put your hand back into the cage. That rat is the size of a banana, maybe. This thing is like godzilla compared to that rat. Did I mention they chew down trees for fun? All of these things failed to occurr to me then. Retrospect is great that way.

To my credit, I was prepared for anything and never let my guard down, after all this thing was pretty beastly. It was also rather majestic. I knew I was disturbing his morning ritual, and he probably hadn't even had any coffee yet either. As I approached him cautiously, he turned his body and came a half step toward me, hissing in his beaver language, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I couldn't understand anything he said, but the message was clear. I was suddenly aware of the fact that beavers eat trees, and that I am a creature which stands upon two of them. My mower was a much better place for me to be.

I got back on my mower and he performed his same intimidating leer. "Now get back to work you stupid-ass!" once more he hissed angrily in beaverese. It isn't a language that many humans know but it is a pretty straighforward language. I rode off, and soon he disappeared into the pond.

I'm glad that I was careful enough not to get my legs chewed off. I would hate to have ended up a part of a beaver's damn someplace although I must admit, he would have earned it. I once heard a story on the news of how some guy got his fingers bit off by a beaver I laughed. Now I totally understand why. Beavers look big and cool and badass. I saw that beaver and wanted to befriend him (beaver-end him?) but he is not simply some cool looking water-loving badass. He is a big amphibious mean-ass rat, that is looking out for number one, and not my friend.

This new layout confuses me. I'm not sure how I feel about it.



Working at the golf course is great. I have a pretty stress-free job environment. My co-workers have few complaints, and are easy to work with. I'm very lucky in that regard. And I get to bird-watch all day long. This sounds like I'm bragging. My work isn't always easy. I do a lot of walking and I operate potentially dangerous machinery, which always makes me feel like an SCV. "SCV Good to go sir!"

Magical Items

     Sometimes I think of real world items in terms of how it could be magical. How could the simple finding of this random item begin a story, start a movie, an epic quest etc. I think of what properties could give a pair of boots the weight to send a character on a quest for some or another reason. The other day I found a harmonica on the beach with my friends. It was a good find, a Hohner, C. I've never had my own harmonica before, but this little thing makes me happy. Matthew, Mike, and I discussed what its magical property could be. Somehow we determined it may be a "Harmonica of Spider summoning", however I haven't summoned any spiders with it yet. There was a tiny jumping spider crawling on me yesterday, and the harmonica did happen to be in my pocket, yet I believe this to be coincidence. I hope it is a coincidence.

     I don't really believe this harmonica to be a magical item. What if it was? That would be neat. Do you ever find cool things? Have you ever found a thing that was so cool that you couldn't stop thinking about that time that you found that cool thing? Clearly it has happened to me.

Writer's Block

I found a major source of writer's block in the last six months. It's called 'school'. I've been so busy procrastinating my studies, that I haven't found time or motivation to write into my blogs, or my journals. I realise that I keep 2 blogs, and 3 physical journals. Its not like I'm great at constantly writing, but recently it became apparent to me that writing is a much better activity than simply speaking my mind. My brain-to-mouth-filter either stopped working long ago, or never worked to begin with. My mouth constantly gets me in trouble, so I'm working on diverting some of my daily word count back onto the pages of my many creative outlets.

I've almost finished a sketch book. I'll post some pictures from that one of these days. I've got some ideas and stuff i need to work on. My creative energies have been semi blocked for a while, so I need to find a way to feed and nurture them.

I'm rambling now, so I'll go ahead and it it right here.